"Dear jaikit, you are awesome.
Yes you are smelly, yes you have dirt ingrained in you which never washes out and makes me look like I'm a bit dirty. But ah'm awrite wi that, jaikit. It tells a story, like ma scars, but less painful!
Yes, you are bright orange (now bright orange with ingrained dirt). Yes, my wife avoids me when I'm wearing you and I can be seen from the moon as you're so bright. But I like that. If I ever get intae trouble in the wilds I'll stand out like an elephant in a best-looking pug competition. But you keep me warm, you keep me dry and I have utter faith in you that you'll always do that.
Dear Jaikit, I love you"